Jogja - After 5 years

Hari ketiga di - "Jogjaa" (diucapkan seperti iklan)
Ini tugas bela negara tahap kedua. Kalau bulan lalu tentang perubahan iklim, menjadi pejuang lokal dadakan melawan ancaman Global Warming dan Ice Age, kali ini project CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) membantu Yayasan dalam sebuah project memerangi Demam Berdarah Dengue, meski sekedar urun konsep. Sungguh DBD ternyata penyakit yang mengerikan. Mortalitas diatas 1% menjadikannya salah satu penyakit paling mematikan di Indonesia.

Hihihi
Kalau dipikir-pikir, pekerjaan ini unik juga. Dari implementasi strategic initiatives Six Sigma, sosialisasi perubahan iklim dan pemanasan global, inisiasi bisnis baru, hingga dokumentasi desain proses project penanganan penyakit berbahaya. So much to do in only nearly one year. So much place to visit. So much people to meet. Kadang menyenangkan, tapi kadang juga melelahkan. Kerinduan kepada Alya terutama yang menjadi satu hal yang memberatkan.

Jogja semakin komersial. Tenant tumbuh dimana-mana. Warung makanan gaul, toko batik, toko peralatan gunung berderet-deret memenuhi jalan utama. Yang luar biasanya harga makanannya masih diskon 50% dibandingkan Jakarta (Drink in Coffee Bean Rp 12.000,-. Iga bakar Rp 8.000). Papan-papan iklan, media luar ruang, spanduk kegiatan memenuhi ruas-ruas Jalanan utama. Udara Jogja benar-benar laku dijual. Tidak banyak space kosong tanpa advertising. Potret umum dari nasib kota-kota wisata di Indonesia. Bandung, Malang, Yogya benar-benar dimanfaatkan sebagai slot iklan. Majalah tiga dimensi.
Wisata iklan.

Potret kota pelajar masih terlihat dengan jelas. Mahasiswa ada dimana-mana. Di sekitar kampus MM UGM didominasi mahasiswa yang doyan bawa buku tebal dan laptop kemana-mana. Di pinggir jalan gerombolan motor terdiri dari beberapa pasangan nampak berseliweran sambil ngabuburit menunggu buka puasa. Wajah-wajah Sheila on Seven yang Duta wanna be (you know lah, what ever they wanna be they will not looked metro, but still reflect those "look" hihihi) tersebar di setiap penjuru kota.

Yeah - it's a life path put me here again after 5 years
This city is still offers great experience, but you will not sense the slow pace anymore
It speeding up, to be more metro, to be more urban, to be more Jakarta
Hopefully not to be loosing it's identity

The Final Farewell - Goodbye My Friends

And that was it...
I finally met all the gurus, mentors, peers & few of my apprentices for the last 5 years of my life - in a Family Day gathering. Spending two days in Anyer - with them, with all the old laughes, the same old jokes, same bull shit talking, with all the new stories updates about work and beyond. It's a work friendship, but I see it become morelike a Family. Seems like nothing has changed since I left them 6 month ago. Except that, now I am not belong to them anymore...

In the final minutes before leaving Anyer, when farewell shake hands & hugges went on, I realized that these might be the true Final Farewell to me. That I might never seen them again - in gathering - for the rest of my life...

Tidak terasa sudah 6 bulan sejak meninggalkan rumah yang telah membesarkanku selama 5 tahun terakhir. Rasa void itu masih belum terasa karena sebelumnya masih ada acara yang akan dilakukan bersama, undangan di Anyer itu. Dan ketika akhirnya semua hal telah selesai - exit interview yang tertunda, surat keterangan yang telah diambil, sisa hak-hak telah ditunaikan, dan akhirnya undangan family day selesai - terasa ada rongga kosong yang ditinggalkan.

Untuk pekerjaannya, aku sudah ikhlas, I chose to move anyway, tapi untuk suasana kekeluargaannya, aku masih belum bisa sepenuhnya menerima. Good friends is a rare thing, a familylike friendships are a really scarce thing.
And that was a great loss.

There was a guy, known to fought bravely for one vision,
surrounded by a great friends he loved & whom he shared the vision.
And then he left for another dream, to dare His life for a greater vision
did he betrayed, was he a renegade ?
Goodbye all, I'll never thank you enough for being the great mentor & friends
I ever have in my life.

Goodbye Astra Honda Motor...

Life is beautiful - at the moment.

Life is being beautiful lately, love is good, work has never been this better. Every slide of presentation, every challenging task, every second playing with my love Alya. Nearly spent a whole month in Jakarta I could ask for more to enjoy every day love with Alya. She's been so nice, cute and very much lovable. For the first time in my life, a girl call me Papa..

Sebulan penuh menghabiskan waktu di Jakarta kali ini terasa begitu bermakna. Berat sekali harus berangkat travel lagi, meski ini adalah salah satu tempat kunjungan favorit : Belitung. Juga karena waktu site visit kali ini sangat sempit, hanya 5 hari untuk dua project yang berbeda. Sayang, karena mungkin tidak banyak yang bisa dilakukan hanya dengan 5 hari ini.

Tidak terasa blog ini juga sepi tulisan dalam jangka waktu satu bulan. Ternyata memang manusia hanya berpikir keras ketika lagi dapat masa-masa berat. Saat segalanya menyenangkan bersyukurpun kadang tidak terpikirkan.

Benarlah, satu hari menginjakkan kaki di pulau seberang, kuasa gelap pun mulai menyergap. Devil side, sang Dyonisus mulai menyuntikkan awan gelap ke nurani yang mulai berusaha membangun diri. Dan seperti biasa, dengan mudah aku terbang di bawah sayap gelapnya.

Because he was like me
Because he's been living with the feeling of sadness and loneliness like i did
So I thougt he is strong because he's living in
such lonelyness and kept fighting for himself.
But the real strenght isnt something like that.
you cannot gain real strength from fighting
only for your self.
when a person wants to protect something or
somebody precious to him. there he can be truly strong.
when you try to protect your precious people.
the real power of you will appear.
and that's the true meaning of being strong….”

--Uzumaki Naruto—

Insanity Number #17

Insanity, sometime blurred by saturated vision. People who chase the dream, willing to suffer and may little bit ask the family to be stronger and strive together, in a telescope of comfort life may be spherized as unthanksful and selfish decision. Wish they see it in wider perspective, that he too want the best for the familiy, and hopefully much other Indonesian families further. It just take time and patients..

Penyakit gila nomer 17 : Lelaki yang ingin memeluk dunia, mengejar mimpi diri sendiri dan melupakan anak istri. Hehehe, nauzubillahi min dzalik. Semoga dijauhkan dari penyakit yang demikian.

Saat ada tawaran untuk high yield remote work dari Freeport dulu, terbayang harus berpisah dengan keluarga dan merasa akan tidak fair untuk dilakukan apabila sudah menikah dan akhirnya harus dilupakan. Ternyata setelah menjalani dengan skala yang berbeda - sebulan sekali travel seminggu - justru keindahan keluarga lebih terasa saat sedang berada di Jakarta. Melihat Alia yang tumbuh demikian cepat, menikmati saat bangun tidur dan bermain sebelum tidur, dan menyempatkan untuk family tour saat weekend, menjadi kebahagiaan tersendiri yang bukan sekedar rutinitas.

Pada akhirnya orang-orang yang nekat, yang sok berani untuk berjalan di atas batu panas, sepertinya memang sedikit ada kerusakan di otaknya. Sudah jelas masa depan cerah masih mencari jalan yang susah. Mungkin penyakit gila nomer 41 atau 42 lah, yang tidak terlalu parah. Budaya jawa juga mengajarkan alon-alon waton kelakon. Pepatahpun mengatakan ingin menangkap burung cucakrawa, burung cendrawasih dilepaskan (yah, seperti itulah kira-kira). Nanti apabila jatuh (mudah-mudahan tidak diberikan cobaan), tinggal kasih komentar, "I told you so" , "Makanya bersyukur", "Wis enak-enak nang kono, dapak pindah, saiki yok opo anakmu?". Naudzubillahi min dzalik..

Yeah, that's the risk of being insane. Insanity number #17 they say. I think it is number #44 only. A little bit insane. Very much not recommended for normal person..

Crystal of Silent

Sometime it's weird to be alone in a massive silent. Like you can hear your own mind wandering around anything, saying stupid words, suggesting negative choice, slowing down your feet to step forward. Inside a junge in a sunday like this, when anyone goes to nearest town, provide you such a condition like this. Even I love silence, this kind of silence are suffering..

Hari kesebelas di pedalaman Sumatera. Sebuah email dari Supeldi menantang bahwa Padang Sidimpuan belum terlalu pedalaman seperti Serang. What? Serang? He don't know what kind of circumstances he is challenging with. Katakanlah sebuah lokasi dikelilingi pegunungan, sebuah lembah yang diubah menjadi kawasan tanaman sawit. Sebuah kawasan dimana bahkan beruang hutan dan burung Rangkok liar masih bisa terlihat bila beruntung.

Sudahlah, daerah ini tidak bisa dikalahkan untuk disebut pedalaman. Hanya sebuah kawasan pemukiman dan Mess sekelas hotel bintang tiga yang disupport wifi 24 jam yang menandakan bahwa ini bukan hutan.

Dan kesunyian di hari Minggu, saat semua staff pergi ke kota menemui keluarga atau sekedar berjalan-jalan, benar-benar melelahkan otak. Kesunyian yang menyayat, bahkan di siang hari seperti ini. Hanya War Craft DOTA, fotografer.net, atau browsing aktivitas yang bisa dilakukan untuk menghabiskan waktu. Mungkin saat malam nanti menjelang baru kembali menuntaskan beberapa pekerjaan daripada termenung sendiri, bermain gitar sampai ujung jari tidak terasakan lagi. Yeah..life is tough, like I want it that way. Wish I could just think simply, enjoy the comfort like I was.

There is always an up and downs for everything. Only those who have known live for a WHY that could bear to live for any HOW. It's a famous quote. People said it often, but I guess they don't really know how it really feel.

- imamwahyudi.fotografer.or.id -

An Unticket to Switzerland

It is easy to say "Make choice, go forward and never look back". But when the condition we left actually become a condition that we have dreamed before, it's hard to bear the void inside for not saying "Wish I didn't take this choice".

Tidak akan pernah mudah menerima kondisi pindah dari perusahaan besar seperti Astra, Indonesian Center of Excellences, Most admired and Mostly dreamed Company. Meskipun dengan keberanian dan tekad demi sebuah passion, idealisme dan vision of life. Apalagi pergi dengan label Golden Kid, the youngest ever Section Head, could be the youngest ever Manager within one or two years.

Pun ketika newly job sudah memberikan apa yang diinginkan. Membuka dunia yang lebih luas, melihat Indonesia dan memberikan sesuatu untuknya, memberikan experience yang tidak akan mungkin di dapatkan di menara gading itu.

Sebenarnya melihat apa yang telah aku bangun di sana ternyata telah menjadi sebuah building block pun sudah memberikan kepuasan tersendiri, melihat bahwa ilmu yang disemai telah tumbuh menjadi bulir padi yang siap untuk dipanen. Tapi tetap butuh mentalitas kelimpahruahan yang besar untuk ikhlas dan merelakan padi itu untuk tumbuh menjadi milik orang banyak. Dan Insya Allah aku ikhlas.

Hanya satu hal yang menimbulkan void itu, sebuah kesempatan - satu ticket - ke Switzerland, sebagai reward atas apa yang sudah dikerjakan tahun lalu, pun harus terpaksa diikhlaskan. Tidak salahkan jika ruang kosong itu - void itu - kembali membesar dan menelan harga diriku?

Everyman wish to be a hero. But a real hero always keep the mask before him, unreveal the true self, to keep the world a better place ignoring the heart is crushed because the world did not want him to showed up for asking the rewards.

But I am not Spiderman...

In the middle of the Indonesian future energy

Here I am, Jangkang Palm Plantation, Belitung

A distance place, a silent one, lies 25000 hektar of Indonesian future energy resource : Palm Tree. The enormous increasing demand of Crude Palm Oil causes enormous growth of Palm Plantation Company. Almost all of Indonesian top local corporation drive their business to Palm Oil Agribusiness regardless the overwhelming protest and pro-contra about deforestation for opening the plant field. With no prejudge on that protest I think we should see it in positive perspective that Palm Oil would be our next generation renewable energy resource that could give Indonesia higher position in world wide since Palm could only live in tropical country. And indeed the side impact to the environment, mostly for burning the forest for opening a new field by senseless company, should be massively controlled by the government.

But I will not talk about that. It's a personal journey anyway, not an editorial. This is a whole new experience. Plantation area is not as primitive as I thought. If the field manager use short pant, that is a standard. But if they also carrying a notebook behind their back pack, using G3 cellular phone, high pixel digital camera, and driving Ford Everest to the palm field is a whole new paradigm shift. Indeed, CPO is a major and profitful commodity.

I sit here, using my notebook, surrounded by thousands of Palm Tree, with internet connection 24 hours alive and high speed.

A really weird combination.

The same railway

It's been such a long vacant time and a massive silence period beyond this. A blackened spot. A missing history. I guess it's been nearly a month i did not write anything in this Narcieves.
Coming home did not work as good as I always imagined, but I think it was just all right. At least I've done my sentences to my family. Going back from a long vacation, and guess what, I just found the fact that the train was still chasing on the top gear.
So huff,..I took my deepest breathe and start running again in those project railways. Everything goes back to where it left, loading up my brain cache to restructure all what should have to be done in the nearest day.
At the first time I opened this cerebral box, somehow I just remember the last time I met Rie. I've just imagine that may be she is staring at my page right know . Last time, when we were talking about my earlier message. About the phrase I wrote to her, the phrase that at the time i wrote it, I actually did not realize how would it mean : " loving but does not like loving, missing but does not like missing"
What i actually mean by that anyway, a little bit ironic that i just put back in the other old railway again.
Jakarta sucks..

Counting Down

Everything is counting down. To the day when we are promised to be a pure white clothes, if only you trust. Nothing goes without remaining that we are going to have a long vacation in a few days.

Everybody start to thinking about going home, to their homeland. Share the happiness, share the glory. Share the feeling of being so far away. The things about homeland colors everywhere i breathed my self, everyplace i walked through, everytime i blink my eyes, everyword came to my ears.

Yes,
I am going home,
To my true homeland,
Bali.

Run run run

Massive train chasing

These days time flew away so fast. I barely could not make a valuable time for my self to enjoy my life in solitairy mind exploration. Deadline chasing me like massive M16 rumble attack and i just cannot stop running or I'll be dead giving up. I guess these will stay with me for the next two week. I could already imagined how rush will it be in the next two days. Glad, still save time to do this useless thing now, put another stupid post in my blog.

I skip "mon classe du francais" yesterday, a big regret stroke my head when i realized it. My boss just cannot keep me out of my work. Huahh.